Should there be any secrets between you and him?

When it comes to information sharing in relationships, it is as complex as relationships themselves. One may wonder how much and not to share with one's partner. Should I tell him about my past relationship? Is it necessary to share my passwords or tell him how much money there is in my bank account? Should he know all about what I buy?

Small little things become too much in a precious relationship. So, we thought why not discuss some important key points about sharing information for a healthy relationship?

The Past: When it comes to sharing about the past, it is widely and wildly debated whether we should or shouldn't allow our partners to access the abyss of our deep dark lives! Across the world, many studies have shown women being OKAY with sharing it all, while men still are on a very low count for the same.

These days couples are open enough to reveal their past relationships before they enter into new ones, especially that of marriage. Sanjana and Sumit just did the same. As Sumit mentioned about his previous girlfriend and fiance, I didn't ask anything from my side. For me, it was good enough that he shared with me and that he was honest. Also, I went ahead and told him about my crush. chuckles Sanjana. One, on the other hand, may shy away from sharing, if the past has been too dark. It may be wise to seek a counselor, especially, if one is planning to get married.

Bank balance & money: Sun, a corporate executive, keeps her bank balance a secret from her spendthrift husband because she needs to. So, she keeps her phone and e-mail passwords secure too. Many women feel and do the same as Sun does. Whereas, some couples have a policy to share all about finances. But, in that case, both should be equally transparent.

Purchasing: Abhya feels she should discuss with or tell her partner before buying anything. Whereas, Sheena feels she is too independent and grown up to share what bag or shoes she bought. Well, both viewpoints are ok. Buying pattern depends on one's conditioning to some extent. But, you necessitate checking if, in case, you are giving too much control to someone or if you are crossing the line.

Find out how cool your husband/partner is about your buying behavior. Or, what your family circumstances and sentiments may permit. One way to do this is to sit back and think about how would you react if your partners did the same. You will have your answer.

Phone and e-mails: A recent article in one of the leading news dailies spoke about a sensor for phones which can recognize fingerprints- your partner's fingerprints too! This isn't something to shrug off on because cell phones have become an important tool for trust and loyalty in a relationship.

Why password sharing if you truly trust your significant other? There shouldn't be a reason why you would want to peek into their phones and emails, or yours! This is surely invading someone's personal zone.

The other day my husband asked me to check his inbox for some information. So, I asked for his password. My mother-in-law was surprised for why I didn't have his e-mail password. I was surprised too for why I should have his password in the first place! I never thought about it either?, tells Saima, a corporate executive from Gurgaon. ?I think we should respect each other private zone or else it would be too suffocating for a relationship, adds Saima.

Takeaway

Is it a sign of a healthy relationship if the lover's snooping around? Or, is it significant and trustworthy only if people share all the information? But once again, it is left to the individual to decide how much should be shared and when?

Mutual trust and respect: Privacy is a must for both parties irrespective of how loving and trusting they are with one another. However, if someone continually wants privacy in everything one does, then there could be a reason to find out more.

So, how much should you actually share? Follow your gut and instinct, be wise, and play your cards according to the situation. Let us know your viewpoints!