Teen Love - The War of the Worlds

She looked at him. He was gorgeous and her heart skipped a beat. Never had she seen a more beautiful human being. She blushed when he looked at her and when he called her name, she couldn't believe her ears. She was sure he loved her and soon, they would be married.

Teen love is a complicated thumping of the heart that no scientist can truly understand. The psychological or physiological reasons for their obsessive and antisocial behavior during this time have been much researched. For a teen, though, these feelings are real and their first crush is an introduction to new feelings they've never had before. All this rush of emotions might be exciting for a teen but for most parents, it's a nightmare.

Parents are fearful and uncomfortable questions plague them.

Could this teen love lead to an unwanted pregnancy?

Would this love distract their kids from their education and goals?

Could early love lead to irrational decisions about early marriage?

Would the overachievers become underachievers due to all the stress of being in love?

Would rejection lead to depression?

Unfortunately, all of the above can happen. Since the parents were teens at one time, they rightfully fear the devastating side effects of early love. As soon as their children turn thirteen, anxiousness increases, and stress levels go up. Grave wars of words follow, which hurt both parties, and out go the disgruntled teens slamming the doors behind them. In conservative societies, their innate feelings are repressed, often leading to depression and even suicide in some extreme situations.

The natural feelings of anger and resentment that parents feel, when their children fall in love, could stem from jealousy and fear of neglect from a loving and doting child. Parents might also feel that their children have chosen an unworthy partner or someone who might not be a good influence on them.

Here are a few ways for parents to deal with Teenage Love:

• Communication- The only way to avoid this inevitable conflict is to speak to your children and communicate with them about love, sex, and all the responsibilities that come with relationships.
• Adaptation- Teenage love is now different and a whole lot more complicated and consuming with social networking sites and smartphones. Educate yourself about the fresh challenges facing them and arm them with all the parental advice they need as they take this next important step towards adulthood.
• Friendship- Always be approachable and even though you might not like the newly formed relationship, try not to be over-critical or judgmental. This seemingly short-term spark could well turn into a long-term relationship and you wouldn't want to burn your boats. Try to avoid as much resentment and anger as possible so that, in case of trouble, your kids will turn to you first.
• Reminiscence- Try to recall your teenage years and, maybe, you would then be able to appreciate the intensity of their emotions and the sincerity of your feelings.
• Discipline- Modern parenting is all about freedom and understanding, but it is also about setting boundaries. I have seen many modern parents so eager to be best friends with their rebellious and angry teens that they forget that they are their parents first and friends later. It is important to discuss what reasonable behavior is and what rules teens must abide by. Sexually explicit content is easily available on the Internet now and it is critical to educate kids about socially acceptable conduct this has to be done in a frank but non-judgmental manner.
• Graciousness: As cases of sexual abuse and molestation rise in society, we need to teach our kids to respect the opposite sex. We have to teach them that romantic relationships are not just sexual but there are also ethical considerations in them. Kindness and regard for the feelings of others are imperative in this modern age where tender hearts are broken with a curt SMS (text message) or a short Facebook status.

Teen love is the first step toward adulthood. Hormonal surges suddenly transform loving and chirpy kids into sulking and hostile little adults. These changes are not only radical for teenagers, but for parents as well.

Young love is powerful, young love is memorable and young love is earnest. Let the teens float in their clouds of love. This could be the only time they might know such intensity or purity. Let them fly.