3 Ambitions of crazy life of a woman: Abhilasha Likhari inspiring story

Your name is really special to you, isn't it? Well so is mine. Also because its meaning has influenced my personality in many positive ways. My name, Abhilasha, means desire, ambition, longing. I am sure you have had ambitions. What were they like? Were they big or small? Who influenced them? The people you grew up with, the books you read. I am going to share with you my three ambitions.

When I was about 8 or 9, if someone asked me, "what will you be when you grow up?". I quickly answered, "main bartan manjhungi, jhumke pahenugi or bacche palungi ( i will wash dishes, wear big earrings and tend to babies)". My highly educated cousins and aunts would be horrified and would hush me up.

My first ambition was to be tall. My dad was 6 feet and my mom was 5 feet. And I had this horrible feeling that I would take after my mom, as at age 12, I was only 4 feet 11 inches! So I became obsessive about everything that could help me gain height. Cycling for hours at a stretch, pull-ups, just everything. And presto, I started gaining height and kept gaining height till age 19. And even today, I am proud of my 5 feet 6 inches! Academics came easily to me, as did sports and I excelled in both. Life was simple, school in the morning, lunch and an Enid Blyton in the afternoon, and homework and badminton in the evening. And then suddenly, at 16, life changed. A good looking Punjabi boy, 5 years older to me, who had just moved into my neighbourhood joined our badminton club. Soon we were head over heels in love.

And I got my second dream. I could only now imagine living life together with him and having a family and a home, our home. But, there was a twist in the story. Our families were diametrically opposite in cultures and values. We knew we would encounter resistance, but we were determined. Four years later, after overcoming a lot of opposition from my Kashmiri community, we got married. I moved from a nuclear family in South Delhi to a joint family of 11 people in Mumbai. I had just finished my Economics Honours from St Stephens. But career and studies were far away from my mind as I looked forward to our life together. Soon I was pregnant with our first child, my daughter, who was born on my 22nd birthday.

At this time, my husband's steel business that he had started in Mumbai, was going through a particularly rough patch. I realised that I would need to get back to work and so I decided to pick up the threads of my academic life. Despite the opposition from my husband's conservative family, I completed my Masters in Business Economics, Delhi University and soon got a job in a research organization. Life was then an endless round of work, struggles, responsibilities, the joy of children, and the years passed. I worked in well-known organizations and did what most working women do. Juggle the balls of work, family, kids, social life and personal growth, and do it well.

My third desire was freedom. Very early in my working career, I realised that I was trapped. I hated everything about a job. It made me feel suffocated. Most of all I hated the total loss of control. So I wanted something that would make me money, keep me intellectually satisfied and also give me the time I wanted for myself and my family. And I am happy to say, I found that something. I started my business some years ago and now happy to say I am my own boss.

Life does not tell you what it has in store for you. You cant get a preview or a trailer like in a movie. So I was not prepared for a life-changing event. I lost my husband to cancer and my life came to a grinding halt. My dreams were shattered. So I had to do a lot of soul searching, a lot of reinventing of myself and had to create a new life, a new me. Much like the shedding of the skin of a snake. Today, nearly 12 years after that event, I am thrilled to say that I have begun dreaming again. I have new desires that go beyond myself and involve people I am connected with my business partners, my family and the society at large. I am definitely more compassionate today. Experiencing a loss always makes you more compassionate...you see things differently.

If I look back, I was relentless and impatient with people and their weaknesses. I also am more comfortable with exposing my own vulnerability and hence am more relatable. I was clueless about money and now am much more financially savvy. When my husband passed away, we had no savings of our own and no property in my name, virtually nothing. At that time, I was determined to make a change and be equipped to make the money and learn to manage it too. A smart thing I did was to start a business part-time, along with my daytime job. I was lucky to be mentored by an extremely successful team and so in a few years, I was able to establish significant cash flows that helped to make me financially independent.

Today, it's my deepest desire to help people, particularly women, to make money and become financially independent. I also sought out courses and books and material that helped me become more astute about money and investing. I had learned how extremely important it was to know how to manage your money. This is an area I sincerely hope women take more interest in and do not leave it to their husbands and sons to do for them. I am happy to say that I completely manage my money today! It has been a quest for success and independence and I am still learning. And of course, the icing on the cake has been...... that I met someone! At a school reunion. We are now married and creating a new life together. New dreams, new promises.

I want to keep challenging myself, I want to keep facing my fears and overcoming them. I think I really have just got started.

Liked this post? Do share with people who need to read this too.

Register at THEWOOMAG.com to get our weekly letter and never miss out on our updates and contests. Do you think your story can inspire others? We would love to share it with the world. Share your story HERE or simply mail to info@thewoomag.com . At TheWOOMag, we publish a diversity of stories and subjects that are important parts of a woman's life. We welcome each one of you who wants to be our stakeholder in growing the spirit of independence among women. If you want to speak up, showcase your talent or share your story, sign up and start sharing what's there in your heart.