IWD-10 Inspiring Stories of Women who went from ordinary to extraordinary

The most important criterion of being a woman that is to be a mother may be challenging for some and priority for others. But, the ability of a woman is to be able to adapt to her circumstances and create something beautiful and meaningful out of it. Though the world may throw challenges, life may be brutal and people harsh, they are unstoppable. They create a special space society. On this International Women's Day, a humble effort to bring out stories of women homemakers and mothers who lead by setting examples for millions of women out there who feel ordinary.

They may not have net worth of million, broken the glass ceiling, but their ordeals of being ordinary women with multiple responsibilities make their stories worth sharing. Each story shouts out that there is an option to live a life of fullness and happiness instead of feeling bad and unworthy about yourselves. Your life has meaning. Let's hear from their own mouths.

Sandhya Sethi

A seeker, happily homemaker and mother in love of four. She learned what brought happiness and fulfillment.

Married at the age of 17 into a very orthodox family from a relatively modern family, life was not very easy at first. My father was a well-known surgeon in Guwahati, Assam and a very forward-thinking man. He outrageously made all his four children study in English medium school when our Jain community wouldn't send their children to English medium schools for the fear of being converted to Christianity. However, the fearless upbringing and strong foundation changed the course of my life! After marriage, I came down to live in Delhi along with my in laws. Theirs was a typical orthodox Marwari business family where even reading newspaper daily was a questionable act. Initially, it was very difficult but soon I learned to adjust because that's how we, women, have been conditioned to be. By the age of 21, I had become a mother of two children, and it was all about nurturing and caring for them.

Ours being a joint family, it helped in instilling family and social values in the children from an early age that helped both into good human beings today. The one thing that kept me going throughout these years apart from seeing my children grow up to beautiful human beings, was my quest for learning new things. I joined classes at different stages in my life be it driving classes, swimming and dance classes with my daughter or computer classes and kept myself updated with the world around. As it always happens with mothers, the real feeling of emptiness started once the children finally grew up. My son went to the US for his undergrad and daughter to Bangalore for her medical studies. As my only objective of life was accomplished, I reached a stagnation point and started feeling lonely. I wanted to grow out of it.

That's when I decided to join my husband in his office. Interestingly my father in law always encouraged me to learn new thing, So I took his offer to look after Human Resources and Administration. But, I left it after a few years. I kept myself busy with my quest for learning and joined different organizations, made new friends, learned dance, music, computer languages and photoshop etc.. Travelled to different parts of the world, explored new places, gained confidence and enjoyed life! Soon it was about time to find get them married and then nurture two new relationships in the family-that of daughter in law and son in law. Around this time, I chanced upon an article on Image Consultants in the newspaper and that is the moment I knew what I want to be now. I joined this 9-month course and was back to learning again. It felt like going back to school, attending classes, making assignments and meeting new friends. It was real fun time for me.

However, could not pursue this further as there was a new role to play now- that of a grandmother. Now my grandchildren keep me busy all the time. Nevertheless, the learning mode is still on with a dance performance and an NLP course in my recent kitty group. Having seen life's so many ups and downs, played different roles I decided to completely surrender to almighty's will and accepted all his decisions for my life. I feel I have lived a complete life and living until now. Have no regrets whatsoever. Living a disciplined life, I am enjoying a healthy mind in a healthy body. My desire to learn new things, explore new avenues and find happiness from small things in life is what I hope can ignite a flame in women of my age and they can pursue their passion and hobbies at this stage in their lives too. Learning should never stop. I live in the moment. I am a true believer of - Live and let live and do unto others that you want them to do to you.

Shalu Rana

Took her first solo trip to Leh at 46, reached 12,000 ft, got Student Pilot License at 48, Shalu is living a 100% unapologetic and mindful life.

Being a woman, I feel, is a super human task. She needs to take care of her children, husband, household, her in-laws, her job and give due attention to her parents. And, of course, take care of her own self. There are many aspects to a woman. She could be a working woman or a homemaker. Having married a Commercial Pilot, I continued my job as a computer instructor. But, then I left it to have my babies and look after them.. I was simply overjoyed having my two sons and a wonderful husband. I remained a homemaker -a stay at home mom and enjoyed every moment of it. Today when I have been married for almost 26 years and our sons are almost 24 and 22 years, I look back at my life and feel very happy and satisfied with the decision I made for myself...to be a homemaker. I am happy that I was always 'available' for my family.

Am so glad to have given my 100% to my family. People say being a homemaker is the simplest thing. But I would say No, it's really tough to be one. You don't get any weekly offs, you work overtime, unpaid, most of the time you are doing a thankless job. But trust me in the end it's all worth it. Every time I had a low, I used to look at my hubby and realized that it was because of me that he could go for his flying duties carefree. He knew that our children were safe and taken care of by me while he was out for days together. I have enjoyed every moment of our sons growing up. And they too have shared all their ups n downs with me. When I see both our sons doing well in the professions of their choice, I get a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment.

I am happy that I have been able to give two very sincere, smart, caring and responsible individuals to the society. Some years back I had gone to Leh with my family. It was like any regular trip - Go by flight...see the place in hired Jeep etc. There I saw some firangs on cycles... Which really inspired me. And I declared to my family that my next trip to Leh would be on a cycle, at which they all said' You'll not be able to do it '. But after we returned, I started training myself so that I could cycle at that altitude. In June 2017, at the age of 46, I took my first solo trip to Leh. There I hired a bicycle and explored Leh. The first day, I cycled from Leh to Karu and back to Leh. I covered a distance of 70 kms, at an elevation of 3,500 mtrs (11,483 ft). The next day, I went from Leh to Gurudwara Pathar Sahib, elevation 3,658mtrs (12,000 ft) and back. This trip to Leh was the best trip of my life. I realized my own potential and broke my own records.

It gave me a great feeling! This was just the beginning and it led to more solo trips! Since my husband and both sons are Commercial Pilots, I also wanted to learn to fly the machine they were flying (In fact I knew a lot about the theory part of it - thanks to my sons and hubby). So, after fulfilling all the prerequisites, I joined a flying club and at the age of 48 years I got my Student Pilot License. And I have logged couple of hours of flying on a training aircraft Cessna 172R. I have few more things in my bucket list which I have to tick off!! In the end I would like to share with all beautiful ladies out there, that whatever you do, just give your 100% to it. It doesn't matter if you are a working woman or a homemaker... Just remember that God has given us the capability of doing anything and everything possible. We are the ones who bring happiness in our homes and in the world we live in. We are the ones who bring life on this planet. Never live with guilt and never look back. Happy Womenhood to all of you.

Abhilasha Jain

Food is not about business, but about bonding over food for this founder of Marwadi Khana.

Hi! I am Abhilasha Jain. Marwadi Khana is not just my brainchild but my dream, my desire, a lot more than what I aspire!! I come from a typical orthodox family where women work only in certain special and unfortunate cases, financial insecurity being one of them. But, against all odds here I am today, nurturing 'Marwadi Khana', a home chef service, just to bear the fruits of my passion and fulfill my dreams... Generally, people work towards attaining financial security or to prove a point to somebody or for self-worth but I work for only one motto - I cook because I like to feed others, I cook because I like that smile which my food brings on people's faces, I cook because I feel my soul connects with them in the process n that's the liberation for me!

Since childhood, my father has been an inspiration for me but unfortunately, when I shared the idea of Marwadi Khana with my family and parents, my father did not support me as he was afraid that his daughter's desire to follow her dreams might not be good for the family in the typical Marwadi society. But I thought differently and took it as an opportunity to bring him laurels instead. Even though I lacked the emotional support and any inspiration in my life during the initial phase, my husband became my sole anchor and soon one achievement followed the other which helped me regain all my ties and made me stronger than ever! That is the reason why Marwadi Khana is not just a venture for me but a strong bond indeed and why whoever orders food from Marwadi Khana feels 'bonded' over food!

The dishes/menu are not the ones aimed at garnering a lot of praises from my clientele or aimed at attracting a big clientele, rather each dish has its own story, its own relation, its own share of history, or some 'kisse-kahani' related to it or some childhood memories attached for me while I feasted over them at my aunt's house during the summer vacations or while learning them from my mother or mother in law or bhabhi during my visit to them post marriage! Thus the menu encompasses relations and ties for me and not just any dish!!! Marwadi Khana is not a venture for me but a family in its own way. I followed my heart despite of all odds and believed in myself and my love for cooking! So never let go of your dreams! Follow your heart and let the happiness unfold.

Preeti Gangwani

She bravely fought with the society's taboo and shame of having a child after 10 years of gap.

This was my dream when I starting dating my husband. My first uneventful pregnancy, and being blessed with a healthy baby boy, made us believe that our dream would come true naturally. However, contrary to our wishes, life sometimes has some other plans for us. After my first pregnancy, I was put on strong medications for my chronic kidney ailments & it threw us off guard when the doctor politely told us to avoid planning another child. My first born son was 5 years old then & my dream of a second child was shattered. Disappointment did lead to sadness, but eventually I came to terms with the harsh reality.

Life continued and I engaged myself in happily parenting my only son who from time to time also kept asking for a sibling, something which we denied upfront. When our son was just about to turn 10 yrs, we were shockingly surprised with the news of a second newborn coming our way. At first we were very apprehensive, but when my nephrologists gave me a go-ahead, we were thrilled & we fought against all odds to dream again. We were blessed with our second son 10 yrs after our first. Not only was my 2nd pregnancy tough, during this child-birth journey, to my utter surprise, we came across many unexpected responses from around us some doubting relatives, disgruntled friends, scorning neighbors with curdled expressions.

All eyes questioning big time- the decade long gap between the two kids. Some even had the audacity to say to my face - how careless and irrational our decision was, of having a second kid so late in your lives. This off course was so not required, and it resulted in us developing a resilient attitude and I chose to respond with a No Guilt, No Shame look. I wondered where these people were when I was unwell and had to deal with my grief of not being able to plan a second kid. If they were absent then, what gave them the right now to openly state their judgment on the timelines in my life? Contemplations led me to understand, that may be, there are many couples out there battling something or the other and dealing with not just their own challenges but also with the grief from unwanted social and family pressures.

Some could be afraid themselves to take such leaps in their lives whereas others may have their inherent fears of the unknown. I also realized that no two people, not even spouses or twins can have the same timeline in their lives. However, what we do have is a right to decide what we want & when. The joy we have received after so long, of being blessed with 2 happy kids, is very precious & nothing in the world can shake it or take it away from us. We are happy we made our own decisions, redesigned our life & are ready to accept all new challenges that life may throw at us.

Kamal Agarwal

Rediscovered and reinvented as certified Child Psychologist, DMIT, and a career Counsellor, Kamal is also a proud POSH enabler.

It was very interesting to see that for the first time someone is talking about homemakers and teachers. I have transitioned from being a working professional to a homemaker and then resume work as a Training Consultant and Career Counsellor. I feel that both working women and the stay at home mothers experience bouts of guilt, both justify their decisions and both have times when they resent the other. I wonder why women look down upon other women when they say they are homemakers and I really want to change that. I have seen cases of women taking up work just because they felt they were not valued enough as homemakers.

This seemed to me like a platform through which I can make an impact. After working successfully as a Training Professional for more than a decade, I decided to prioritize my responsibilities as a mother over my professional career when my second child was born. Although I took a break from a 9-5 job, the professional in me kept pushing me to keep honing my skills and continue the learning process, while taking care of my family. As I saw my children grow and also observed other children, I identified a great need for understanding children and their behaviour. This led me to get certifications in Child Psychology, DMIT, and Career Counselling.

I am blessed to have raised two wonderful kids who have now grown-up to become self-reliant and do not need as much of my time. All the learning's and certifications that I garnered, helped me to re-establish myself professionally while contributing to issues close to my heart. Another area that I feel very strongly about is Women Empowerment, so I got certified as a POSH Enabler, (Prevention of Sexual Harassment at Workplace against women) in order to contribute to strengthening women. Today I feel fulfilled that I took this much needed time with my children and family. Also as a woman, I believe that the responsibilities of a homemaker are as important as any professional career.

Archana Chandel

Certified story teller, the founder of the famous library, Books-n-Kids, Archana finds solace in Madhubani and glass art.

A Gold Medalist in the University, I had dreams of working & being successful & did land into a job, where I worked for few years. Ten like every woman, I too got married & was enjoying my personal & professional life. However, things changed somewhat after my first daughter was born as I had to take care of the little lifeline of mine. Since there was no one else to take care of her, I decided to quit my job to be with my daughter. The times that I have spent with her, seeing her growing, are one of the best memories I shall cherish forever. Soon, within a few years, there was an addition to the family, a little bundle of joy filled our hearts!

I always believed that one should keep on learning, no matter what & that's when, in my second innings, enrolled myself in various courses. Initially, it was challenging to take care of the family & studies together. Still, eventually, I figured out the right way to prioritize things & allocate time to every activity. That made my life easier & since I always was a bright student, a keen learner, the 2nd Gold Medal arrived in no time. My daughters were and always have been my focus. I never compromised on their time & today, I am proud to say that the elder one is studying medicine to be a doctor someday. And the little one, not so little though is in class X and recently been awarded as TIMES NIE- Student of the year award. Interest in different art forms always attracted me. As a passion for discovering, I started learning Madhubani and ended up combining it with Glass Painting too.

Besides, I am a curious, continuous learner & in 2012 fulfilled my long desire of having a library at home. Soon, I started extending it to my neighbourhood & the clientage began to build up. Today my Library, Books-n-Kids, is a known name in Delhi. Come 2017, I was introduced to another form of expression - Storytelling. Today, I am a certified Storyteller conducting story sessions for kids, curating storytelling events, managing the parent-toddler program, participating in the art festivals. Not to forget, my husband was my continuous support n pillar of strength come what may be. My life is content not because I was a keen learner who explored new fields, but because I dared to turn my dreams into reality. As a woman, I have done what I was meant to do for the family yet found & established my own identity. I am an Entrepreneur by Choice!

Vanita Chitkara

"Don't be a mother out of guilt or society's pressure, be a mother by choice and pride," says Vanita.

I often see moms complaining about having no time to themselves and how their entire life changed. Bringing a child in this world is a huge responsibility and I am happy to share I am enjoying this role to the fullest. One should never have a child because the fertility clock is ticking or because parents want it or simply because one should have a child. Because, later on, each decision you take will revolve around your child. Simple things like pooping and having a hot meal sound like a big deal in the earlier months.

Giving birth I feel is easy but raising a child in this complex world is a challenge. Don't just jump on the wagon. Have a child if you really want to have one. I never thought I would be completely dedicated to my child. But once she was born I didn't want to leave her at least not until she could communicate. I started believing that only a mother can do best for her child. I really feel working mothers are really strong because I could never gather the courage to leave her in someone's else care and step out and this is why I work from home and step out occasionally for meetings.

My priority and focus changed completely. And I have no regrets. Now when she's close to 2 years and starting to communicate her needs, I am getting that confidence of leaving her for few hours. But not everybody is as privileged. I feel blessed to have got this precious time with her where I could capture all the small moments and they are etched in my heart. I am enjoying my current role for motherhood is a beautiful feeling which can only be experienced and not explained!

Ranjana Rajora

She decided to support her family than to get married and challenged the social norm of why only boys can support the family and why not the girl.

I am Ranjana Rajora, working as Administrator in an educational multi-branch set up. I carry my name in true sense, "Ranj means dukh and Na means nahn". I am a happy go lucky kind of person and try to follow the right ways without taking pressures of molding my perception of looking at things as rightly said, True happiness is an acceptance of life as it is given to us, with its diminishment, mystery, uncontrollability and all Blessed with very empowering parents, supportive brothers and encouraging sister, made a whole lot of difference in my life. Soon after I finished my graduation, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I had to take charge and be the support system for my family. The situation was anything but normal and I understood my responsibilities and role well as it came naturally to me.

Years passed in this challenging phase with loads of pressures and advise from anyone and everyone. However, the one thing that didn't stop during this phase is my urge to learn and upgrade my educational qualifications which have given me better professional opportunities now. Deep-rooted in my Rajasthani culture, I was told time and again that it was not right to support the family as this is the duty of men. When I am earning, I should think about myself and not ruin/waste my life for their sake and believe me these were the words of very near, dear and respected ones. Stereotypes? Yes, we all are surrounded by lots of people, situations and mentalities which force and pressurize us under the umbrella of societal norms. I realized even to decide to be with family is a concern for society especially if you are a girl and crossing the age of marriage.

This is when one is forced to think and question -why not? And If not me, who will? When parents do so much for us and treat sons and daughters as equals then why supporting them is only the responsibility of a son and not a daughter, Right? I found my answers and continued on the path and did what it seemed to be right. I always presented myself very proudly to all, as a blessed daughter who has the opportunity to stay with parents when all other girls of my age were happily married and raising their children already. Satisfied with my situation, my life moved on. However, the family never stopped insisting and finally put my profile on a matrimony site. Being overage, the kind of proposals that I got were not acceptable. But they continued their search and one fine day, the proposal I got was one of the finest!

Now, I am happily married for last two years and blessed with a very loving and caring friend cum partner and in-laws with a tremendous level of understanding and moderate thinking. Couldn't ask for more! And, today, when I look back at that phase of my life, I realise. I have been able to grow professionally, as a better and good human being as I have learned with the situations and above all, I have learnt to be a very grateful person, especially to people who compared me with others and made me realize that I am the odd one out if I do not follow the social pattern. The question I would like to ask everyone here is when we talk of gender equality then why a girl is treated as an odd person when she decides to be with her parents and support her family. 

To me, gender equality is to shoulder the responsibilities as much as possible irrespective of any gender. I was able to do what I felt right...just because I never compared myself with anyone and tried to set the things in the best possible way for all. I have gained the trust and love even from the people who judged me and challenged the ways I moved. Do as you feel, follow the right path and don't give yourself chances to regret. Questions will be there, but your belief and firm actions answer them in the due course of time. So keep going and talk about the obvious things which no one else is even referring to.

Seema Wahi Mukherjee

Seema who is a storyteller fought her battle with herself and the world outside victoriously. She chose to smile and live beautifully.

Mamma, you are so pretty in these pics and slim too, he took a closer look at each picture and held them out to me, But something seems to be missing - your eyes, your smile- you don't really look happy in these pics. You look much happier now. When you smile, you really smile. It was my 12 year old's insightful observations that surprised me and set me thinking. I have followed my heart and done different things in life. I don many hats and am comfortable with each- an International Storyteller, a Storytelling Trainer and coach, a soft skills trainer, a toy designer, and an Education Consultant. But, were I always so comfortable within myself, No! But tell the truth I will, how much ever difficult, so that anyone reading this might get inspired too. Just around 10 years back I went to attend a course. Just two hours into the course, I got a phone call from home.

I immediately took it wondering if all was ok at home. The voice on the other line asked where the masalas- spices were kept! Of course, in the masala box- I replied. It was not just asking about the masalas, but the call, the tone of disdain as if the course was not important, that made me upset. The facilitator saw my face, heard me out and said as a matter of fact- You want to do something but you seek permission, and also expect that it should be given happily and not under any pressure. It provoked me to think . After months of deliberation, years of experience, I learnt that no one gives you permission to be you, no one from outside empowers you- you have to assume and step into your own power. I did! Today, I don't need to fight or explain my point to others. I don't seek permission either. I manage everything- home, work, kids.

It does get taxing but I am managing well. Mamma, called out my son, and my train of thought broke. Yes, I answered. Please don't mind my saying so but lose some weight too na, then we can run and play. You will be healthier and active. I nodded, but in my mind, two life events were running parallel- my brush with depression around 15 years back and a complete breakdown around four years ago. Interestingly, none of these was visible even to my closest people, except to those I confided in myself. These were internal battles of mind. One evening after a party, something crashed inside me. It must have been brewing for a long time but that was the determining moment. I felt I could not continue living any longer. Then I looked at my older son, who was around 6 then. If something happens to me, what would he become Maybe both of us should go. The thought itself was shocking.

How could I, who had given birth with such difficulty, even entertain such a thought I was up the whole night thinking. Next morning, first thing I told my spouse was that I wanted professional help. It was a huge step for me. I have been raised with ghar ki baat ghar mein hi rehni chahiye, no matter what. Yet, we went to see a psychiatrist and thus began my treatment. The psychiatrist made me feel like a case, he was always writing and taking notes. Those two-three meetings made me feel as if I was destined to be mad. Anyway, as events unfolded, this psychiatrist was shifted out of town, and I finally found another psychiatrist Dr.Raman Girotra, who did not just treat me as a case- only with medication but helped me heal with counselling and intensive psychotherapy. There was so much pent up within which needed to be told. Still, a few members who learned about my on-going counselling, felt that I was sharing family secrets- ghar ke bhed with a stranger.

But my sessions continued, for me, the choice was between not just living and dying anymore, but living a meaningful life aligned with my being. I began to see hope, and after a year, my medicines too were tapered and then stopped. I have never had to take those medicines again. Yes, you don't have to be dependent on medication as is the popular belief. I felt healed and ready to face any challenges or situations. Another critical period of my life was just four years ago. Sometimes we lose people to death and sometimes we lose relationships we thought which would last a lifetime. We go on, we do not grieve, we are in a hurry to get back to normal, to be happy. But happiness is overrated and grief must run its course, else it gets compounded. After denying many such grieving times, I found myself in deep despair, unable to get out. It felt as if I was in a dark pit, had no strength to pick myself.

A dear friend Richa, like an angel, came to my rescue. She listened to me talk, day in, day out- truly listened and let me cry, howl, rave, rant- without judgment. She made me go to Sanjeevani and seek help. The people at Sanjeevani are very good. There is no charge, you put money in box which you think is fair, no one demands anything. That made me feel they care, it was not about fees for them. I realised that I had to go through the grief, not skirt around it. I stopped fighting it, pretending to myself that I was Strong, Fine, Good. I learned to accept myself.

The counsellor guidance and Richa's support helped me to take each breath as it came, each second as it passed, and slowly over months, I learned to take each day as it came. They knew and saw what even family members did not know as I did not share. On the outside, I would appear just a bit off, but I know inside, I was at rock bottom. Slowly bit by bit, I built myself up, it felt like rising from my own ashes. The second incident changed something deep within, irrevocably. It reminded me