How to help your teen daughter share about her relationships?

A teenager's life is confused with the complex mix of hormones and search for one's own existence, one's individuality. And then, there starts a constant search for true love and a fight for acceptance by the opposite gender. Relationships, emotions, rejections can be difficult for your teenager to handle. How wonderful it would be if your teenager could just rest her head on your shoulder and share about her love life with you?

Can she trust you? Why is it that they hesitate to share what's happening in their love life with their own parents? Why do they not consider the same old trust in this case? What is it that stops them? Have you ever thought about it? If not, then this is the time. My principle is simple - accept, bond, and trust and I follow it all the time to have great relationship with my children.

Accept

Accept your child the way she or he is. Accept that he is unique. You know, we women love to baby our children even if they become big. They like it too but only to a certain extent. First, accept the fact that your child is not a baby anymore but a grown-up teenager. Second, accept that he is unique and so are his problems. Just listen. Don't comment and don't offer a solution. Don't judge. Just say, " I understand". Hey, don't fake it. They are very smart and they will figure out. So, next time teenage daughter comes to you and shares about her crush, don't start bombarding her with a list of questions. Who is he?..Where does he live?.. who are his parents?..Is he good at studies?... Bla bla! Just listen and smile. By, doing this simple act, you are telling her that it's ok to be in love and relationship and discuss with your mother.

Bond

Your teenage child might be struggling with his/her relationship and be in a very disturbed mental as well as emotional state but will never let you know unless you have a special bonding with him. You may feel close but connected with your teenager. You are missing the bond. As parents, you should always look for ways to build a deeper bond and a comfort level with your child. Quality time, hugs, laughter, play, doing funny things together, sharing my own problems & sorrows, I become a child. Really. And, they just love it. I thought it was a super good compliment when my son told me, "Mom, you are so much fun!" My children tell me all the time. I just sit with my 8-year-old girl and make faces in the mirror. "Mom, you are so funny"..Mom, you are the best mom. You know, it is such a bliss when your children get up in the morning and look for you so that they can just come and hug you.

Building trust

Initiate the dialogue. You can discuss your own problems and let him have a say. By doing this, you ensure that even they have a voice. This will make them more open and less hesitant in speaking up about their personal lives. According to Jenna Glover a child psychologist, parents should always model things in front of their kids, just like the way they want them to be. So, if you want them to be open and frank with you, you too need to do the same. Replace fear with unconditional love. In previous generation, I mean when I was child and my parents were parents, we were afraid of parents. I am saying it after talking to tons of people and friends. We wouldn't get close to them. They were providers. And, their status was of someone really high. Times have changed now. Time to move from condescending to bonding. Your child doesn't need to fear you in order to respect you.

Once she knows she will not be judged or looked down upon, she will come to you and very freely spill out everything that she is going through. And, if she had a breakup and cries, she will not cry alone. She will cry in your arms. And, you just caress her and don't lecture on what should have been right. And, if and only if, she asks you for your advice, then only give your inputs. But, then, let her decide for herself without imposing what you think is right. And, believe me, everything will be alright.

Attraction is natural. Teenage is the most tender and confusing age, the child needs proper support and guidance from parents to be on the right track. As parents always know what is happening in your child's life and be ready to be by their side, no matter what.

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