5 Most Common Reasons Why marriages fail

Nobody wants to talk as to why their marriage broke up. It's painful to explain to oneself or to the world. Couldn't match up to each other's expectations, unfaithfulness, communication gap, interference by in-laws, difficult times, there are n numbers of reasons when the couple may want to be singles again.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person.

Perfectly quoted by Mignon McLaughlin, love is the core element of a successful marriage but indeed there are many other fringe elements attached to this knot that cannot be ignored at any cost. There are instances where we see a long-term happy couple madly in love and then, we hear from someone that they split. 1.36 million people in India are divorced. According to Hindustan Times, 11667 cases of divorce have been filed in Mumbai in 2014 which is double of 5245 cases filed in 2010. 

 A few weeks back I was watching one of the videos on YouTube by Sadhguru, one of the most influential personality. On asking by one of the students that why conflict arises between a couple, he replied with a most phenomenal answer. He said, "Earlier marriages were done at an early age, so both the mates were of tender age and were very much flexible in adapting to each other's needs and requirement, also because they were still in a developing process. Now times have changed and as a result, people marry in their late 20's when they have already developed mentally, physically and in all other forms. At this stage, they are more rigid and resist in adapting someone else's values, thinkings, etc. Therefore, conflict arises and they break apart." Anything could be the reason behind the failure of marriage, from a small mistake to a big fight. It's totally upon you to find out what it is that is throwing away a perfectly good marriage and how to work on it so that you can love your partner more.

Sexual Relationship

Every person has some basic expectations and fantasies as to how their sexual life after marriage would be. Therefore, this being the most important factor of a successful marriage and also why do marriages fail. Not taking care of your partner's sexual needs and desires, pornography, adultery, extramarital affair, cheating, are quoted among the top main reasons for people seeking the divorce. One reason that women were afraid of talking about but now opening up is marital rape and sexual torture by their mates in the name of marriage. This comes under the purview of domestic violence and women can and should raise their voice if facing this.

Abuse

Sexual, physical, verbal or emotional abuse or torture will force the abused to opt out of marriage. Sooner is the better if the partner refuses to understand and stop the hurt he or she is causing to the partner. Did you know that the law considers emotional and verbal abuse as harmful as physical abuse and are covered under the same domestic violence act?

Money

Yes, money does matter. Young couples tie the knot of marriage even when they are not so financially stable. They are so madly in love that money doesn't matter for them. But things totally change when they spend a few months or years together. Financial distress and money problem can be a testing point for marriages. Money issues - dowry demands, lack of financial transparency, maintaining secrets about money, over expenditure by either, are the second top reasons for marriages failing. Did you know that husband not giving wife enough money for house expenditure or vice versa depending upon who is the main earner is covered under the domestic violence act? Also, anyone, husband, mother-in-law or So is verbal abuse and making constant remarks of daughter-in-law for not bringing enough from her home.

Understanding

How much understanding a couple has between each other, plays an important role. Misunderstanding results in fights and disappearing feelings between the two counterparts. Marriage is all about walking together on the right path. Conflicting opinions between the two and not taking into account what the other thinks or feels of a particular situation often ends up in a wrong way. This realization comes much later. One should always be supportive of what his/her partner does. Faith and trust play a vital role in the smooth functioning of a marriage.

Love and Dedication

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu.

Love is the core element of a married life around which all the other elements revolve. At the same time, you cannot compel yourself to love your partner out of no reason. You should carry on your relationship in such a way that love is inherently build up.

John Florio says "A good husband makes a good wife" but I would say that even a good wife makes a good husband.

So, what should you do if you are facing any of the above-mentioned issues and want to give your marriage a second chance? Our answer is to consult a good marriage counselor and get professional advice instead of discussing with family members and relatives, as the professionals bring their scientific and approach to help solve your problems and would save you from a lot of gossip and embarrassment in case you want to work upon your marriage not to fail.

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