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Parenting Advice: How to handle a child who talks back?

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Q. My 12-year-old, otherwise very respectful, has suddenly started answering back. Please advise how to guide him to respond in the right way.

Ans. I would like to highlight a biological connection between adolescence and puberty and the language they use. At this age, their character and personality are shaping up but everything is still in transition. You might see tendencies of self-feeling and ambition are increased and they get very touchy around it all. Exaggeration & excess is a biomarker for most of their traits in this time. All in all, it's a phase and we need to respect that the child is changing and they are themselves trying to figure out , their bodies & brain is undergoing reorganisation and their visible recklessness, rudeness and cluelessness is not totally their fault.

1. As a parent you can remind yourself this daily to tide over this phase and to be able to be more rationally sympathetic.

2. Initiate a discussion to understand if he is feeling overwhelmed or challenged by something in school , home or social circles.

3. Behaviours also are an extension what the child/ young adult chooses to believe. Check his beliefs about people, respect, answering back, peer- pressure wrt to language ( that's very common at this age).If he thinks casually around any , counsel him on the effect it ll have on how he'll be seen and accepted by other.

4. You may connect with your rapport with him and discuss any crossing of the boundaries without any over the top lecturing and with empathy.

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